Keno evil Hear no evil

300 Danish lottery players accidentally told they’re billionaires

They sure did make a LOTTO people mad!

When the 300 found out they were misinformed they got so mad they ran down to the lottery and spit on it!  not surprising though - they are Phelgmish!

When they asked the director who was to blame he of course PASSED THE BUCK onto his subordinates!

Now the people are getting second letters with the actual amounts they won! Sorry not $28 billion - you win $54!  wrong amounts of Kroners sure caused alot of Groaners! 

Next time they will have a better proof-reader to the letter that will actually denMark them up with a red pen!

One local asked if he would play again - he said you may as well you're Daned if you do Daned if you don't!

Borat Anthem has unexpected Kazak and effect at medal ceremony

Borat anthem played during actual Kazakh gold medal ceremony

When the medalist heard the wrong song being played, she didn't get upset, she just decided to grin and BORAT.

The article states that the award was given at the "10th Arab Shooting Championship in Kuwait" - this is either a bad translation or poorly named- Are they shooting Arabs and now they are on their 10th?  Or are Arabs finally learning to shoot and now they are up to a whopping 10!?  I guess the only way to find out is to kuWAIT and see what happens next year!

So when the DJ downloaded "Kazakhstan's national anthem" from itunes apparently he didn't notice the album was soundtrack to"Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan" Ever since he realized the error in his ways his head hasn't stopped SPINNING!

They were so offended by what happened - they held the medal ceremony a second time!  when they asked officials why he said "beKazak its the right thing to do"

Another Valentine's day in the crapper

NYC sewage plant to offer Valentine's Day tours


You're supposed to give plants on valentines, not go to plants!



"The highlight of the tour will be the plant's giant egg-shaped digesters"  doesn't sound like a very egg-cellent birthday gift!  not eggactly what your valentine was thinking. 


What's their motto? All love birds love turds?!?


Who's idea was this?  pretty crappy I'd say! what a touribble idea!


Sounds like a huge WASTE of time to me!




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Woman's mantra is "Spray It Don't Say it"

Police: Woman assaults deputy with breast milk

When the cops wanted to speak with her they realized her way of thinking is "spray it don't say it". 

The cops thought she came to confess- didn't realize she just had something she needed to "get off her chest!"

Are you sure she's from Westerville? Sounds like she's from CHESTerville!

The cops told her she was under arrest and the next thing they knew they were under aBREAST!

The woman was defensive and said "what else was I EXPOSED to do?!"

Her husband was embarrassed and said he felt like a big BOOB!

The news crews have sure been MILKING this story for all its worth!

After the story hit the internet, it was straight to the BOOB tube!

Woman was charged with disorderly conduct as well as disorderly lymph ducts! 

See ya later and au reservoir to this guy!

http://holykaw.alltop.com/man-urinates-in-reservoir-city-forced-to-drai?tu3=1

Police told him, URINE a lot of trouble now buddy!
This guy really "pissed" a lot of people off!
Water you gonna do now peeps?!
Sounds like a DRAINing experience!
Every time he goes bowling he gets GUTTER balls!
They made a fairytale about him- the princess and the PEE!

Wired to be Weird

As a Floridian I just had to post this hilarious article that is funny because it is oh so true on so many levels!! 


Florida America's Weirdest State


Weird are ya gonna do?!
Orange you glad that's not your pet gator?
Gator Dunnnn!!!!! 
Some  Governors declare a state of emergency, Florida is officially declared a state of Emerging Weirdness!
Most people go to the beach for Lazy Days, in Florida it's for Crazy Days!
With so many economically diverse wild animals - they have ostrich and ostpoor farms!
Medicated lawmakers like to keep up with their loopeyholes!
The sunscreen they use is Going Bananas Boat!
The psychic's in FL read your Palm Trees! 
People go to the beach and say what have you dune for me lately?

It's an Aerosmith remake "Granny's got a gun!"

Cops: 92-Year-Old Shoots Man's House Because He Wouldn't Kiss Her

She was gonna shoot him right in the kisser!

Mr. Rogers does not want to be her neighbor!

What in the Helen was she thinking?

She doesn't beat around the bush- she's a straight shooter!

As the bullets were zinging by and all the glass break and go flying he realized he sharded himself!

Shes the new generation of nonagenarians!  

Afterthought:

I'm  just glad she had time to pencil in those eyebrows for that mugshot!